i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
