hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
