Well douche your snatch and let's go!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
