i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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