me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
