Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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