life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
