Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize