the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
