The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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