i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
