I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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