you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
