so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
