hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
