Christians are straight up FREAKS
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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