i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
