i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
