I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
