Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
