you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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