I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
even my farts smell like vagina
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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