we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
