similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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