I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
