And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
