Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
