Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
