Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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