Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
