I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
