Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
