I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
