my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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