Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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