You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
