You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize