Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
