tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
