my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
