I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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