have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
