I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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