I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
