Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
