i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
