that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
