OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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