Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
