shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
