OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
