This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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