even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
