You're so nebulous sometimes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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