I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
