My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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