You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
