my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
