I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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