Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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