it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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