Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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