Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think my moral compass just broke
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
