He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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