Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize